I admit it. I lied. I did it with a straight face.
I lied because the truth was too painful to speak.
Nearly a decade later, that lie has become the truth.
I was getting my license renewed back home in Louisiana while I was home from college. I thought I would be in and out with no problem. I rattled off all the basic information the DMV agent asked of me.
Date of birth? Christmas Eve.
Height? Five feet, two inches.
Weight? Ummm. Hmmm. Let me see. 176? Yea. 176.
We both knew I was lying. I was well over 200 pounds at the time. Admitting it out loud somehow made it more of a reality. So I lied. I picked a weight I thought I would actually be proud to see on the scale. As she typed it in, I promised to eventually make it a reality.
The years passed by, and the weight piled on. Then off a little. Then back on a little. My motivation was too superficial in my early 20s. Once I decided to make a meaningful lifestyle overhaul rooted in health and fitness in 2012, my life changed. Over the last two years, the weight dropped as a result of my new lifestyle. Hitting 199 or “onederland” was a lifelong goal. Getting to 190 felt awesome. Dropping to 180 was great.
Then, one morning, the scale read 176. I stepped off. Stepped back on. It didn’t change. I wasn’t dreaming. It was real.
My eyes began to fill with tears and memories of the day 176 pounds seemed like a fantasy. I felt just as beautiful and happy as I dreamed I would feel. The truth is, I’ve been feeling this way long before 176 showed up on my scale. Simply doing the work and making better choices along the way created the happiness and pride in myself that I didn’t have before. Heck, when I reached my very first goal of 245 back in 2012, I would have shouted it from the rooftops!
Now that I have reached 176 pounds, the joy isn’t necessarily in the number. My goal at this point is to focus more on decreasing body fat and building muscle tone. The happiness in that “176” moment reminded me that anything I speak into existence can become reality. No matter how long it takes.
(Originally published July 25, 2014)