It’s a warm weather task many of us dread. I honestly avoided it altogether before I started my weight loss journey a few years ago, but in the summer of 2014, I was excited to go swimsuit shopping. Shoot, I had lost more than 80 pounds at that point. This was definitely going to be an incredibly positive experience, right?
Nope. I was wrong.
It seemed the mirrors in the dressing room highlighted every possible flaw as I tried on swimsuit after swimsuit. One reminded me I don’t have the flattest stomach just yet. I could see my not-so-defined arms in the second. By the time I looked at the third mirror, I was nearly in tears. How could I have come so far and worked so hard and still have so much work to do? I walked in feeling like Beyoncé and left like I was in a time machine that took me back to 267 pounds.
The emotions from swimsuit-gate were still lingering in my heart a bit days later when my friends and I went to a wine festival. As we took our seats at one of the tables, I just happened to look down at the chair. A red stamp read “WARNING: WEIGHT LIMIT 250 POUNDS”.
It took me a moment to realize the milestone that little red label represented. Years ago, I would not have been able to sit in that seat. I would not have been able to sit at the table with my friends. I would have been in tears as I found some excuse to sit somewhere else. It made me realize that one bad swimsuit session could never touch the years of blood, sweat, tears and flaxseed that had led to 80 pounds of weight loss. Do I have the perfect body? Nope. I probably never will and that’s okay. As long as I’m putting in the work to be the best version of myself I should be proud every second of the day.
To top it all off, I found a better swimsuit at a different store at a fraction of the price of the others. Take that, stupid mirrors!
(Originally published May 14, 2014)
