Honeymoon hiccup

A few weeks ago, I married the love of my life! My husband Sean truly has a heart for God, and a sense of humor that keeps me in stitches.  On top of that, he’s a gym nut and whole heartedly supports my health and fitness journey.  He respects what it took for me to lose 100 pounds and keep it off. So when it comes to healthy food or workouts, he is always on board with a smile. I could not ask for a better support system.

After having the time of our lives on our wedding day, we set out on the honeymoon. We went to Disney World, and we lived like we were carefree kids for a week.  The rides.  The excursions.  The food!

Oh, the food.

It was everywhere. All the time. Ice cream. Cheeseburgers. Pasta swamped in cheese and sauces. Cheesecake. Fried this. Fried that.

Sure, we walked several miles each day at the parks, but we were stuffing our faces everyday, too. It was like we convinced ourselves calories didn’t count at the most magical place on earth.  We thought, hey, we deserve this! All these years of kale and crunches, we’ve earned the right to live a little.

But a little turned into a lot.

By the last day of the honeymoon, I was emotionally in another world. I felt full. Lethargic. Uncomfortable in my own skin. Feelings I had not experienced since I saw 267 on the scale.

It was a familiar feeling of pain and disappointment from the past that crept up like a flood.

Now don’t get me wrong. I certainly have treat meals or go off course every now and then on this journey, but this was different.

It has been years since I ate myself past capacity at every meal. We were so happy on the honeymoon, I didn’t even realize what I was doing until it caught up with me at one of our dinners. Sean comforted me as tears started to form in my eyes, because I emotionally revisited what it was like to live in such an unhealthy space for so long.

I became sad for Jessica at 267 pounds because I didn’t realize then how badly I was hurting myself with poor health choices.

So my husband did what he does best — held my hand, told me I’m amazing, and beautiful, not off the wagon, and promised to help me get out of the funk.

He didn’t bat an eye when I wanted go straight to Walmart when our flight got back at 1 a.m. in the rain.

By 3 a.m. our kitchen was stocked with salmon, kale,  almond milk and protein powder.

While Sean could have maintained his muscular physique on a Disney World diet, but he knew I couldn’t, and sacrificed his wants for my needs.

I love that man, and I love the person I’ve become, too. Sometimes, a hiccup makes you realize how far you’ve come, and why you never want to go back.